A New Home

View from my bedroom window now

About a month into the program, I was advised to move host families. Let me explain.

I was originally assigned to live with a single, unemployed elderly lady near the center of San Ramon. There was an initial adjustment period at first, of course. To start introductions, she told me about her family and her life, her nine other host students, offered me hot chocolate for dinner, and gave me a set of rules. These rules were quite a lot and a little confusing since they were written in Spanish. One of the rules said that for dinner, I was to have tea or coffee (hot chocolate in my case) or crackers. I was a little upset with this at first because I thought we were supposed to get three meals a day, but I brushed it off, figuring I could just make my own meals if necessary (although I couldn't make my own food because she wouldn't let me use the kitchen either).

A couple weeks went by and at this point, my friends and I were starting to compare host living situations. Every family had quirks to them and we were still trying to get used to Costa Rican family life. However, every time I brought up that I didn't get dinner, my friends noted how weird that was and said I should do something about it. They were all experiencing the opposite problem, where their families would always make too much food for them and they couldn't eat it all.

A lot of them asked how I could stand to go so long without dinner. And honestly, it really didn't bother me at first. I don't know if it was the heat or the traveling, but I was never really hungry anyways. Plus, I know I am a picky eater and can be hard to feed sometimes, but I was really trying to not be picky. She would always make lunch that I really enjoyed, like chicken and potatoes or Mac n cheese. Sometimes she would make enough for me to ration and save my lunch for dinner. I had gotten into a routine and I didn't really feel the need to change.

This changed about a month in. The lunches started to get smaller, and so I would ask her if I could have dinner. She was always reluctant and acted really weird about it. Then she'd tell me to just have hot chocolate and crackers the next night. The final straw came one night when I had asked her again for dinner. This was actually Costa Rica's independence day so there was a lot going on. The plan I had was to go out with friends after lunch, but my host mom never made me lunch because she was gone all day. Normally, on the days she won't be around for lunch, she prepares food and leaves it on the stove for me to heat up when I get hungry. Because she didn't do this though,  I just went out with my friends to get lunch. That night, because she didn't make me lunch, I asked if she could make me dinner. She asked what I wanted and I said whatever would be fine. She asked if I wanted pizza and I said sure because I won't ever turn down pizza. After getting the pizzas, we each got personal ones, she paid for hers and then expected me to pay for mine. I was really taken aback by this. It's not that I couldn't afford the $3 personal pizza, but I thought maybe she would treat me to a pizza since she hadn't made food all day and maybe she just didn't feel like cooking. This incident made me a little mad and I had decided to talk to USAC staff later that week.

There were other factors that led to my decision to move, it wasn't just about the food. One big issue was the rules. She really had a lot of them and some of them didn't seem quite right. For example, lunch was to be served at 1 every day and my bed sheets were to be changed every 2 weeks (everyone else had theirs changed like once a week at least). She also had a dog at the beginning of my stay and it mysteriously disappeared about 3 weeks into my stay. I think she gave it back to the shelter because it would sometimes eat her things and go to the bathroom inside. Also, about two weeks in, she built a whole new bed in the middle of the dining room. When I asked her about it she said she was looking to rent out her bedroom to make extra money. I mentioned that I wasn't comfortable with this and she dropped it (the bed stayed up though). On top of that, her wifi was always pretty unreliable, which made doing homework hard. I later found out this was because she was usimg her neighbors wifi. On my birthday, which I told her about several times, she didn't do anything to celebrate or even say happy birthday. On that same day, she also told me that her neighbors don't like me. Overall, she was just a strange lady. I think many of these issues stem from the fact that her financial situation is pretty rough right now. She mentioned to me on occasion that she doesn't have a lot of money.

After a lot of pressure from my friends, I went to talk to the USAC staff. My original intent was not to cause all the drama that ensued, but nonetheless it happened. Hoping to speak to Carlos the director, but finding out he wasn't there, I asked Dahalma how many meals I should be getting. She told me three meals and two snacks. After I told her I was only getting 2 meals, she flipped out on my host mom. Trying to prove my point, I pulled out the printed list of rules my host mom gave me, one of which said I get only coffee or tea. Then she really lost it. She told me she would contact Gerardo and they would get back to me. At this point I was just thinking they would come up with a plan on how to tell her to make me dinner.

When I went back later that same day, Gerardo gave me a couple of options. He said I could either keep living there with no changes or I could change host families. He said he didn't want to reprimand her and tell her to abolish the rules and make me dinner because she could react poorly and take it out on me. I was really confused about what to do because she wasn't a mean person and I wasn't completely unhappy, but she was taking advantage of me and her financial situation is not one that is suitable to having host students. I definitely needed to think it over, but before I left, Gerardo showed me the other host families. Each one looked really nice and there were a couple that had kids around my age, which I was excited about. I left to think it over and get the opinions of others. Everyone agreed that I should switch host families.

The next day, I told Gerardo that I wanted to switch. He told me to go to the soccer field later and he would meet with me to show me the new host family that I picked out. The only members of the family that were there when I met them were the mom and the dad. Their house is really nice: it's two stories with a big kitchen, living room, and dining table. There is also two bathrooms and a small gym. It seemed like a really good place to stay.

That night, I went home and sneakily started packing. I think my host mom suspected something, but I evaded her questions. The next morning (actually this whole process) I was really anxious. I went to class and we got let out early.  I walked over to the USAC office where Gerardo drove me back to my host house. I told him I needed a little more time to pack up so he waited for me in his car outside. After quickly and sneakily packing, I texted Gerardo to come back and get me. I met him with my backpack and he came back inside with me to get the rest of my stuff. This was the worst part, because my host mom was at the door and asked why I was moving. I let Gerardo explain to her while I got the rest of my stuff. She was sobbing the whole time. It was awful. As I was leaving, she kept saying sorry and crying so I hugged her goodbye and told her thank you and I'm sorry. Gerardo kinda dragged me away and we left in his car. I was upset the whole ride and he kept telling me to stop worrying because I will be at my new home soon.

When I arrived at the new home, I was still kinda upset. I put my stuff in one of the upstairs bedrooms and had lunch with the mom and the sister. The family has been pretty great since. The mom is a good cook and I get good meals now, including dinner. It sucks that I have to go through the adjustment phase again, but the situation is so much better now.